Constructive Parenting…
If your child is the cause of a problem, teaching is the key! A consequence may need to be part of the picture, but it should not be the focus of your attention.
Parenting Technique 15 – Teach appropriate behavior at just the right time.
Under most circumstances it is best to start your teaching right away. However, if the situation becomes emotional, or if you see that your child is uncomfortable for one reason or another, it is better to wait. At just the right time you two will be able to talk about what happened and discuss ways that your child could have handled the situation differently.
Teaching is a wonderful form of positive attention. It often does a better job than a consequence and many times can easily take its place.
There was big news today about the controversy over using spanking as an appropriate punishment! What a shame for parents to have to be distracted by this issue. Spanking is an old time consequence. I suppose it had its time and place as a technique. However, today, discipline is all about being able to guide and support your child in the best way possible. Yes, teaching is the new key, and all consequences need to be given thoughtfully.
“To spank or not to spank?” That is not the question. “How do you guide and support your child in a ‘fair, firm, and positive’ way?” That is the question.
Imagine! French parents are so successful because the use the concept of “teaching” instead of “discipline.” They lead their children on to success. Above all, they remember that they are the parents and are the ones who are in charge. Their security in what they do is what helps their children feel secure.