Today’s Q & A comes to us from Rosalind Sedacca, one of our specialists on this site. Thank you Rosalind for sharing your expertise with us in this way.
Q: Hello. I am a single parent and I have been cautious as to who I bring home since I have 2 kids, ages 5 and 8. Lately, I have been seeing a guy I really like and I have a good “feel” about him…like he and I could really have something special. But, part of me is still unsure if, after dating for 4 months, it is the right time to introduce him to my kids. Any advice on this would be appreciated.
—San Antonio, Texas
A: You’re being wise in being cautious. Good for you. Take your time and trust your gut on when it’s the right time to introduce him to the kids. Then do it very slowly in very social circumstances. Start outside of your home first: meet at a park, fast-food restaurant, day at the zoo, etc. See how the kids react and how he interacts with them. If it looks good, invite him home for lunch one day, then dinner followed by a TV movie and popcorn. Ask the kids how they like him. Ask him how he likes the kids.
If you see red flag warning signs, trust your gut on this. You can also ask him to see a therapist or coach along with you to iron out some areas that concern you. Watch him react when the kids act out or are annoying. That’s how you can tell whether he can handle this new reality on a permanent basis. Take it very slow. Watch, listen and make sure the kids know they mean more to you than this new man – always!
–Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Divorce & Parenting Coach and Dating & Relationship Coach
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