Night Night, Sleep Tight… Not as Easy as it Sounds!

Today’s article is meant to be about sleep, sleeping better, and relationships. However, for us it is about today’s nuclear family, stress on couples, and pressures that really exist. In addition, it is a direct follow-up to our previous post.

I’m Awake, Why Aren’t You? is the title. The author is Elizabeth Bernstein, and it was published in The Wall Street Journal on Tuesday, September 9, 2014.

This article focuses on one couple as a typical example of couples today and the juggling they do because of their different sleep patterns. While the article cites the reason as differing body clocks, I suspect something totally different. While it suggests different circadian rhythms as the problem, I am almost certain that differing responsibilities is the culprit. Morgan and T.J. are the parents of a six-year-old, a four-year-old, and a third child on the way. Morgan is also a clothing designer, and T.J. is a physical education teacher.

They have solved their sleep difficulties by sleeping in different rooms. Morgan does not want to wake up her husband when she comes to bed late, and she does not want to be awakened by his early alarm when he gets up early. On Saturdays they both get up early. T.J. gets up extra early to do something he wants like taking a hike and then running errands, and Morgan gets up a little later, but still early, with the kids. On Sundays Morgan gets her one day in the week to sleep in, and T.J. wakes up as early as he wants and then takes care of the kids when they arise.

Even without digging further into specifics, it is easy to see the problem. Morgan’s day is determined by whatever length of time it takes to do her job and “take care of the kids.” T.J.’s day is determined by how long it takes him to complete his job, sports time, responsibilities he has with his kids, and whatever else he needs to complete. While Morgan’s day probably varies from long to very, very long, T.J.’s day is probably shorter and fairly standard in length.

This particular problem is not about the couple’s division of labor with the kids. It seems they are happy with that. It is, however, about real life for moms and dads today and the huge overload that typically falls on the mom. I present it to you as one more evidence of how truly stressful life is these days for the average family. Where oh where is grandma and grandpa, Aunt Betty and Uncle Bob? How about Cousin Albert and Aunt Jane? I guess we know. They are not near their children, nieces and nephews, and cousins.

The article provides a solution for this couple, sleeping in separate rooms (and not necessarily a good one at that!). I do not provide a solution, but I am happy to point out the problem.

What to do?

While that $64,000 question has no real answer, most important for us is that we have identified the problem. It is our awareness of rampant overloaded schedules for moms along with the absence of adequate support that wreak havoc on today’s family. Hopefully, this awareness will be the exact right one you need to lead you to a solution of a family problem on your end that just might work for you.

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Comments

  1. Sally you are correct. Our life styles are so hectic and many times the guidance that young children need they do not get it. Parents are so busy with their schedules and making money in order to give the kids more material things and do not understand that children need to be parented. Children need to develop positive relationships with caring adults that will guide them by giving them social, emotional and cognitive skills that they need for life. Our society has so many children with emotional challenges as a result of not getting parental guidance during those critical years.

    Sleeping in a separate room is not good way to show children how families should live. I think more families should begin to pay some attention to the new brain research and this may help them to adjust their parenting style to the needs of their children. They are their children’s mirror to the word.

  2. Hi Daseta,

    You hit the nail on the head. Parents are caught in a terrible cycle. They work hard for the kids and neglect them at the same time. This is a tough tough problem. I love the work you do helping parents to understand more about child development and the things that are really going on with them. Thank you for taking the time and interest to add your thoughtful comments to my site.

Trackbacks

  1. […] Night Night, Sleep Tight… Not as Easy as it Sounds! | Early … https://www.earlychildhoodnews.net/parenting-tips/Early Childhood News with Dr. Sally. Home · Introduction · About Dr. Sally … On Saturdays they both get up early. T.J. gets up extra early to do … It is, however, about real life for moms and dads today and the huge overload that typically falls on the mom. I present it to you as one … I think more families should begin to pay some attention to the new brain research and this may help them to adjust their parenting style to the needs of their children. They are their children's … […]

  2. […] Night Night, Sleep Tight… Not as Easy as it Sounds! | Early … https://www.earlychildhoodnews.net/parenting-tips/Early Childhood News with Dr. Sally. Home · Introduction · About Dr. Sally … On Saturdays they both get up early. T.J. gets up extra early to do … It is, however, about real life for moms and dads today and the huge overload that typically falls on the mom. I present it to you as one … I think more families should begin to pay some attention to the new brain research and this may help them to adjust their parenting style to the needs of their children. They are their children's … […]

  3. […] Night Night, Sleep Tight… Not as Easy as it Sounds! | Early … https://www.earlychildhoodnews.net/parenting-tips/Early Childhood News with Dr. Sally. Home · Introduction · About Dr. Sally … On Saturdays they both get up early. T.J. gets up extra early to do … It is, however, about real life for moms and dads today and the huge overload that typically falls on the mom. I present it to you as one … I think more families should begin to pay some attention to the new brain research and this may help them to adjust their parenting style to the needs of their children. They are their children's … […]

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