Today’s news comes to us from the January 14th edition of Bloomberg Businessweek . The article is called “Everybody Hurts Sometimes.” Here is the subtitle: So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.
Do not be fooled by what it sounds like. The meaning is the exact opposite. Hurt feelings are real, and they take time to heal. Here’s what Deborah Grayson Riegel says about it in her book Oy Vey! Isn’t a Strategy. “Do not try to prematurely cheer someone up. Avoid the ‘hurry up and get over it’ message.” She says it takes at least 48 hours to manage a negative emotion.
Yes, the article was about adults. I have no idea whether it takes more or less hours for kids, but I do know it takes time. My message to you, therefore, is to be sensitive to your child. Hurt feelings are real. Watch, observe, and use your very special parenting intuition to figure out first what is going on and then second the best way to help your child get through it.
Just as you are your child’s first and most import teacher, you are his or her first and most important friend.