Use Encouragement all the Time!

*Tip 108 – Make encouragement an implicit part of your daily speech.

What is encouragement?

It is noticing when something goes right. When you recognize your child’s positive behavior, you encourage it. The more you encourage it, the more you will see it. This process is simple… and fun to do too.

Be specific. No more platitudes like “Good boy” and “Good job.” Your child wants to hear you tell it like it is and know all the details. “You brushed your hair well” and “Great colors in your painting!” are much more like it.

December is our last month of the year, and that makes it a great time to  start. Now you have one more wonderful way to “ring in” the New Year.

Accentuating the positives minimizes the negatives, and that is one sure way to get January 2015 off to a great start!

Encouragement is at “the heart” of any excellent relationship.

Join us all month long for parenting skills.

Monday Morning Coffee – 15 Pillars of Parenting

Tuesday Afternoon Tea – Q & A

Wednesday Evening Wine – Parent as a Pro

Parenting skills are just that important. They make everything else that you do go much more smoothly.

~ Dr. Sally

*Pillar #3 (cont): Be positive!

 

Comments

  1. Guiding infants/toddlers towards the desired behavior is critical in order to socialize the young brain. Caregivers must let the toddler know what behavior they want for example ,If your 2 year old finish drinking from his cup/bottle and throws it on the floor you should not say ,don’t throw you bottle on the floor leave it at that. You should say John when you finish drinking you should put your bottle on the table ,can you bring your bottle to the table please. You are showing your toddler how to associate words with action. You are teaching language skills .

    It is important to use a low tone ,and you must be patient . Your toddler may not put the bottle on the table the next time around and you will repeat the same words and action. The fist time that she does it you need to make a big thing out of it. Wow John you put your bottle on the table that’s great. You will see a big smile on her face.

    If anyone else is home call them and show them . If they are not home when they get home make sure you tell them.

    This is how you build self-esteem and self-confidence which leads to competence . Positive guidance helps infants/toddlers to build self-discipline which in turns begins to build self -regulation.
    These are all life skills that is critical. Dr. Sally you hit the nail on the head as they say in the Islands.
    January is great for changing your parent style . I also invite you to subscribe to our parent blog. Have a rewet holiday.

    • Hi Daseta,

      It is easy to fall into a pattern of only pointing out and correcting the negatives. It is much harder to remember to say something specific about excellent behavior. However, as we both know, the rewards for doing that for your child are enormous!

      As we all focus on the positives, the positives grow. That is wonderful for everyone.

  2. Wishing all parents everywhere a happy, healthy and fulfilling holiday season. May the New Year ahead bring you wisdom, patience and insight. All three are crucial for parenting success.

    Remember to love and forgive yourself, even when you get off track. You want to role model that for your children. We all need to practice forgiveness. That’s how families thrive!

    Enjoy the weeks ahead and focus on the blessings of the season!

    Sincerely,

    Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
    Divorce & Parenting Coach
    Dating & Relationship Mentor

    • Hi Rosalind,

      Thank you for your peaceful and meaningful holiday message.

      Here is an extension of your message that I always like to tell myself, “You can only do the best you can do, and that is terrific!”

      I appreciate your inspiration.

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