Separate the Behavior from Your Child


Our Monday tip today is Separate the behavior from your child. Learn more about all the “Pillars of Parenting” with this introduction… Then catch up on the first four as you scroll back from there.

* Separate the Behavior from Your Child

This is the first step to take when your child does what you perceive as misbehavior (mistaken behavior).  Mentally separate out the behavior from your child whom you love.

For example, say to yourself, “The newspaper is ruined,” and “I love my child.” This act of separation starts the process of recognizing that behavior is separate—something that is not part of your child who you love.

When you separate out this action, the picture can look totally different. Possible anger or ill-will can all be diverted. What at first could have seemed like a bad situation can now not seem that way at all.

As you already know, sometimes the best antidote for bad behavior, misbehavior, or mistaken behavior as we now like to call it, can be hugging, holding, and reassuring that mishaps happen. Best is that this particular one is over, and in the best of all possible worlds… will never happen again!

In the post “Is it Misbehavior or Mistaken Behavior?” we learn that something as simple changing the name of a term can lead to just the right way to handle a problem.

It is interesting to note that even the smallest twist in parenting can lead to the biggest success in solving a problem.

Join us all month long for parenting skills.

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Parenting skills are just that important. They make everything else that you do go much more smoothly.

~ Dr. Sally

* Pillar Number 5



  1. […] Please do not worry. Help is on the way. There are 15 Pillars of Parenting that you will always have for help. Each one has it own place and plays its own special role. For right now I present you with “Pillar #5.” It is clearly explained on Monday Morning Coffee as “Separate the Behavior from Your Child.” […]

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