Tip 104 – Set up for success with fair expectations.
Fair, Firm, and Positive
These are the three basic parameters for effective discipline. They work to decrease misbehavior. In addition, they help your child learn to take charge of him or herself and in the end become his or her own best friend.
This tip will explain fair. The next will be about firm. The third will cover positive.
Scenario: You are going to visit a friend and want your child to behave well during the visit. Be prepared! Bring along your child’s own personalized “goody bag.” Maybe he or she loves a particular puzzle or has a favorite book. Possibly you have some other activity that you think your child will enjoy. Take some time to analyze your situation so that you will have with you what you need for your child to be happily engaged for the duration of your visit.
Start by explaining to your child your expectations. If he or she uses any or all of these items appropriately, he or she will enjoy some special activity of choice after the visit like going out for dinner, having a special story, playing a favorite game, or doing something else that is meaningful to you both. If he or she does not do well with the specially selected items, you will skip the chosen reward.
You are half-way there! You have put your child in the position of making a choice—follow the directions and reap the rewards or ignore the directions and face some difficulties. Now is the easy part. Follow up.
That’s it! Congratulations! You were just fair!
Once you and your child get used to this pattern, you will find that most outings that might have been difficult in the past have just become easier.
~ Dr. Sally
June! The Month of the Dads
The last day of June is here. I sincerely hope you had a wonderful month. Check in tomorrow at Tuesday Afternoon Tea. There we will begin July! The Month of the Parents. Take May about Moms; add June about Dads… and what do you get? July about Parents.