Thank you Renee! How special that you joined us recently and have already submitted such a high quality important post “Saying the First Goodbye: Bringing Baby to a Child Care Center”
Renee begins…
I have spent over 12 years working with families of very young children helping them to say goodbye at many doors of many classrooms across the city. I’m a teacher, a mother of three teenage boys, I direct schools, and now I build them as well. I work with this city’s littlest children, our babies, the ones we so badly want to hold on to as we return to work, the ones whose delicious smell, lovely coos, and charming first smiles draw us closer and closer. Who will keep him safe and comfortable? I’d ask when I left my own kids. Who will make sure he’s not hungry? How will I know he’s ok? I was a frightened new mom.
All of these questions and more tear at new parents as they prepare to leave their child at a caring center. It takes time, days of positive experiences, of picking up, seeing your child’s just fine, receiving wonderful stories and photos from caretakers. Slowly, we begin to accept that first goodbye and get on with our lives as parents from afar.
Renee continues…
There are many ways that a center can make your first goodbye easier, and as you look around to make the best decision about care for your family here are a few things to consider:
* Do I like and trust the staff? It is crucial that you like your director and/or teachers and you feel a sense of connection personally with those who will care or your child. If you are comfortable, your child is more likely to be comfortable. You’ll need to ask your teachers lots of questions so it is important that they have expertise and that you can turn to them as needed.
* Do I like the space? A lovely environment sets the stage for loving and learning. Is the space clean? Does it smell good? Are there beautiful things to explore? Is it safe here? If someone is taking good care of the space, they’re likely to take good care of your child.
* Is there extended time for goodbyes? When a center builds in time for transitioning through the goodbye phase it helps everyone tremendously. You should feel the caretaker is your partner in this process. The two of you will be reading baby’s signs to make the child as comfortable as possible, and to decide when it is time for the parent to leave or when a few more minutes together would be best.
* Does the caregiver do a home visit? Exceptionally good centers send their teachers for home visits before the child begins. This helps to create a deeper personal connection between family and school, as everyone begins to get to know each other. Hopefully, the first day of drop off will be less stressful because the teacher has visited you at home.
Are there other parents in the same boat? The community of young parents provides an incredible support network for you and your baby. You will have a million questions, about the center, about whether this or that is normal, and you need friends you can turn to at any time. Being a new parent can be scary, and while your mother in law might have lots of opinions, friends have a more neutral stance.
Remember, babies are born all the time. While school usually starts for children in September, your March baby will be starting something new in June perhaps. Centers must welcome children all year round, and be prepared to offer the same emotional support to families no matter when they enter the program. Also, a child can transition well at first and then need support separating as the months or even years go on. Caregivers must be prepared to nurture the whole family as necessary throughout their time at the center.
Renee wraps up…
As hard as it is to say that first goodbye, there are some amazing programs out there with incredibly loving teachers who will care for your baby as their own, and teach you many things about raising your precious child. Success comes in finding a center that is the right fit for you and your family, one where you leave knowing your child is well cared for, challenged, and loved by friends and teachers every day.
Renee Bock is a dedicated early childhood educator, who is currently the Educational Director at Explore+Discover, a social learning center in Manhattan that is committed to setting the standard for infant and toddler care and education. Renee has more than a decade of experience in the field and holds a Master’s in Early Childhood Education from Bank Street College in New York. She has three sons, Ariel (15), Raffi (14), and Shaya (12). She can be reached at Renee@K3Learn.com.
Dr. Sally shares: Finding the right childcare center for your child is much like finding a mate or the kind of house in which you would like to live. As you search through multitudes of choices, you find that one and only that seems to fit. While many can have your specific requested qualifications, only one will feel right… and that will be the place for you. Your inner spirit, hidden self, and little voice will all join together with a language of their own and then speak to you softly. Listen carefully as they guide and lead you to just the right center.
Please feel free to contact one of our Site Specialists Daseta Gray about this topic. She is another one of our specialists in the birth-to-three age range who is very knowledgeable about child care and choosing the right center.
This is great to know. Am passing along to my sister, Amy, who is a grandma to a 20-month old little girl.
Renee I do agree that it becomes difficult for parents to say good-bye. My daughter is currently looking for a childcare for her 3-year-old and has visited tons of schools. It appears that the boy is doing a college search like you mentioned. It has to be the right fit. One of the advantages that my daughter has is that she has been coached. She also has knowledge about brain development during the early years and how critical it is to give your babies social, emotional and cognitive skills during those first three years. She has been preparing him for the big day since he was a tot. He has had continuity of care, the same baby sitter since he was 6 months old.
The environment is critical as you mentioned. I would like to add that quality is a big part when choosing a child care setting. Here are a few things that must be present among others:
* Staff should be well trained in early child development 0-3.
* Family involvement and cultural continuity
* Curriculum, observation and individualized programming
* Responsive care
I feel that parent education must be given to parents during their pregnancy. This will help parents understand the developmental milestones and will help them to navigate the process as a knowledgeable consumer. With so much knowledge available we need to educate parents during their pregnancy, and this will allow us to have more positive child outcomes.
Hi Renee,
One of my family members just started her little one two days a week in a preschool program. Because the situation was so close to me I was aware of all this mom was going through to find the right place for her daughter. She ended up making a great decision and is now really happy with her choice. Thank you for putting together this information in such an organized and useful way.