Please note: "I'm sorry for being mean"

 

There are plenty of days when I wonder just how much I'm screwing my kids up. "Am I doing the right thing here? Making the right choice? What could I have done better?"

Im_sorryThen there are days that makes me think... "This is all going to be okay."

Last night was one of the happy moments. I had driven my 13 year old back down to his father (3 hour round trip) and after returning home I asked my kids, "Where you good for Daddy tonight? Or were you a bit naughty?" My husband had already told me on the phone that they had cycled through ups and downs all evening so I was teasing them a bit to see how they might reply.

My daughter, age 5, answered: "Umm....... both."

I gave her a kiss on the forehead and replied, "Well, thank you for being honest."

A moment later she asked me, "Mommy. How do you spell I'm sorry?" Rather than ask what she was sorry for I gave her the spellings and then she carried on, "How do you spell for being mean?" I told her.

The note was now complete: "I'm sorry for being mean" (We are still working on her R's and the need to write in lower case, yes.)

She then picked up the paper and ran to her father and handed it to him. He gave her a big hug. No one told her to say sorry. No one told her to make amends. We've talked about feelings and making amends to those we hurt, over the years, till the cows come home but last night, I was just going to let it go. I was not going to make a fuss over the fact that the kids had experienced a long weekend, they were both really tired, etc. I was simply letting it go. However, she decided all on her own to make amends and to apologize to her father in her own way.

That's a good moment right there. A very good moment indeed.

Comments   

 
#6 Shara - owner 2012-02-06 11:16
We are trying to model those character traits, yes. Thank you for saying that. We work hard to show them the value of being kind, thoughtful, saying sorry when we've hurt someone else, giving tokens of love when someone has been hurt, etc. It took a while to sink in but it's now really paying off!
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#5 Shara - owner 2012-02-06 11:15
Thank you, Ava. Yes... 3 hours round trip, twice a week. We wanted to move up North, though, which we are happy about! (Fresh air, nature, wildlife, etc) The driving is a trade-off that we are willing to accept at this point :lol:
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#4 Shara - owner 2012-02-06 11:13
Thanks, Jena!
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#3 Dr. Sally 2012-02-05 23:20
You can teach a lot of things, but you can't teach values. You model those. My guess is that you and your husband have exhibited a lot of "caring and sensitivity" with your children and that your daughter learned from you two to value those same qualities herself. Very nice!
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#2 Ava 2012-01-31 18:56
Love your story such a great moment! :roll: Yikes 3 hr drive :eek:
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#1 Jena 2012-01-30 10:57
Good for her! Good for you!
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