Recently, a reader sent me the following note:

I went to my child's school party on Friday - it was a lot of fun - anyway there were other parents in attendance and as I am watching them "interact" with their child, this thought keeps running through my head......."is texting your friends and surfing the net more important than your child?" and "Is sitting in the same room with your child while texting your friends and surfing the net considered quality time?"

When I watch this behavior, I am so happy that I am a "Mid - life Mom" - I know how to function in life without a cell phone attached to my hand. Even last night, we went out to eat at Sweet Tomatoes and I watched a daughter text during the entire meal with her dad......

Let me know your thoughts on this one.

Here are my thoughts:

I, myself, am not a "mid-life Mom." I got pregnant at a young age, long before cell phones were the norm (although we did have Beepers). There was no such thing as an iPad or iPod or Blackberry back then. My next two children came along years later, after getting remarried. I still do not own an iPad, an iPod, a Blackberry, a Kindle or even a laptop. My husband insists that I have a cell phone in case the car breaks down and if it were not for him, I'd likely ditch the cell phone, too.

Although I was a young mother and my second two kids came along right in the heat of the technology era, I feel strongly that when we spend time with our children, they need our eyes. They need our ears. They need our focus and attention; not just the presence of our body parts. I know full well that it would be difficult for me to put down the devices, if I had them, so I make a conscious decision to go without.

When we are with our children, presumably engaging in "quality time," we need to keep in mind the messages we are sending them.

Talking on our cell phones, surfing the net or shopping from our hand-held devices sends the following messages to our kids:

• You are not important to me.
• What you are saying right now is less important than my digital devices.
• What? Huh? Did you say something? Oh, sorry - I'm too busy for you right now.
• No one in this room (at school, for instance), matters to me as much as my hand-held device. Shopping, talking and emailing is where I find my satisfaction, value and meaning. Not in you.
• There's nothing more meaningful to me than my hand-held device and the interaction I receive from this. You are secondary.

Any time I see this dymanic going on (parents ignoring their kids in order to tweet, facebook, play a game, shop, etc) I am reminded of the old song "Cat's in the Cradle."

The self esteem of our children depends heavily on knowing that they are being listened to, understood, paid attention to and made to feel as though they matter. Whether we are young parents or mid-life parents, let's keep in mind that we are raising future grown-ups here. Our children need to know that we value them. Making eye contact and having "listening ears" (remember what the teacher used to say?) is critical to their social-emotional development and emotional health.

Put down the devices and teach your kids to do the same. Spend quality time together when eating, attending school functions or playing board games. You won't regret that. You will, however, regret the time missed some day, if your memories are filled with forgettable tweets, shopping that could have waited or emails that didn't really need checking.

The world won't stop turning. Even if you do lose a client or misplace an email or miss a sale...your kids will still consider you something special and irriplaceable. And really - doesn't that matter more? I'm sure our children would say "yes!"

ABOUT the Author:

Shara Lawrence-Weiss is the owner of Mommy Perks, Personal Child Stories, Early Childhood News and Resources and Kids Perks. She and her husband co-own Pine Media. Shara has a background in education, early childhood, nanny work, published freelance, marketing and special needs.