By Pru Whoo

{Scroll down for questions that parents and teachers can use, to get kids talking!}

Plato once said that music “is a more potent instrument than any other for education.”

Music is an undeniable source of connection. I have said it before, but we can all take a piece of music from somewhere and connect it to a place, time, event – something. It can evoke emotion, timelessness, peace, memories, even fury, lessons can be learnt, but whatever the means…….the association is there. It’s real and accessible anytime you want it.

In saying this, the same principle can be attached to teaching young children about the effects of bullying & anti-discrimination and the often long term dire consequences associated with it. Using music as the instrument to associate & therefore connect the subject matter, allows children a chance to absorb the message without confrontation, without fear. Making the song fun & interactive is the start, engaging your kids. Actions can be done to consolidate the story line in the verses and chorus etc.

Open discussions about the meaning of the song can then lead to brainstorming & even in the very young, it’s possible they will have ideas on how to cope with it if they become the victim, they witness it etc. Open the discussion in the classroom or in the home after listening to the song “What do you think bullying is about”??? “What is meant by ‘being a bully’”? “When you see someone in a wheelchair, someone who is blind (associated with the song) how does this make you feel”? At home, it may be a simple act like one child taking another child’s toy or pushing someone over, making them cry. “How does that make you feel when you do that”? “How do you think it makes the other child feel when you do that”? With older children, you could bring in racial, sex, cultural, physical, emotional discrimination to name a few. So often I hear parents & teachers say kids don’t have respect anymore. How can they if they don’t respect themselves first? It is up to us, parents, teachers, carers, grandparents all of us who have values, to teach our kids responsibilities and consequences of their actions.

We can’t address bullying & anti-discrimination without somehow making these kids aware that there are often long term & horrific consequences to this unacceptable behaviour. I am passionate about finding ways to reduce youth suicide & self harm, and the one way I do know, is to start educating early – while these children are very young. Combine that with the power of music & we may just have a new way of addressing the problem.

I do not profess to be an expert with lots of letters after my name, nor can I produce a piece of paper confirming my years of education at the establishments of universities and secondary colleges of advanced education. My qualifications come from life experience. From observation. From being one of those teenagers ostracized from groups because of my body shape, from motherhood, from watching my children grow & learn to accept themselves and others for who they are, from understanding how the delivery of music can touch and change someone, from nearly 20 years working with children using my music to educate them and how in turn that process can change the way teachers and parents think about the value of music. Human nature is such however, that not all of us take the risk to try something new, and there lies our dilemma. For me, the passion remains to educate the educators and parents the value of music and the power it has to reach, touch and perhaps change the way we think.

Listen to a song: Taking care of my body

International Educational Music Programs for Kids
pruewhoo.com.au

Statistics:

For the group 15-34 years of age, suicide is today one of the three leading causes of death in all countries (where mortality data is available). In the United States (2001) suicide was the third leading cause of death, among people between 15 and 24 years of age, with a rate of 9.9/100,000.

It is uncertain how many suicide attempts there are for each suicide death. Different studies estimate a number between 10 and 20. In general, there are more attempts per suicide among women and younger people. Research also show that around 80 percent of attempted suicides among young people are preceded by clear warning signs.

Bibliography: Youth & Teen Suicide Statistics

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Tips for Parents to Talk to Their Family about Bullying

Primary & Secondary School Age Children (6-16 yrs)

1. Sit around the dining room table during dinner & bring the subject up. Go around the table one by one and ask each individually what do you think is the meaning of bullying?

2. What would be an example of bullying?

3. Have you witnessed anything first hand that might be considered bullying?

4. Do you believe bullying comes in different forms?

5. If so, other than the obvious, what other ways could it be evident? eg : physical violence, verbal abuse, being ostracised, based on race, dress, body shape, sexuality, disability, mannerisms, accents(cultural), simple things like colour of hair, wearing glasses, what’s in your lunch box, not wearing right sort of clothing, second hand clothing, no brand names etc.

6. What sort of things could you do to prevent some of the above examples happening?

7. What would you do if you witnessed some of these things happening?

8. If you did report any bullying, what do you believe the ramifications of that might be?

9. Would you be concerned about retribution? Would that prevent you from reporting it?

10. In what ways do you think your school could improve anti-bullying and safe guard those that come forward?

Early Childhood Age Children (0 – 6 yrs)

1. Find a book that shows people from different cultures, dressed differently, a book that shows different emotions (people/animals/cartoons etc who are happy, sad, angry, tired, surprised – anything that changes the way they look, what they are wearing, animals or people who look lonely, are by themselves. Different types of houses, 3 Little Pigs, goldilocks’ house, etc, find positive things to say about the pictures and positive differences.

2. Sit your child on your lap. Cuddle in close, and then read the story. Even at an early age, (babies, 1 & 2 yr olds) it is important to point out differences in others and how beautiful they are even if they appear to be different. Point out the positive things about being different.

3. Use music with lyrics that talk about emotions, being different & link those songs to books & pictures.

4. With older kids (1-3 yrs) play with them on the floor. Enjoy sharing their toys with them. If they want one of the toys you are playing with, say ‘great, I’ll use this one of yours whilst you are using that one’. (Even better if there are siblings or friends who can also join in. A parent group, playgroup etc….) Watch and observe yours and other children because they are always observing you!

5. Older kids again (3-6 yrs) can be more likely to become assertive but they are at an age where you can communicate with them to discuss behaviour, expectations, feelings about how the other person may have been upset and therefore affected by pulling their hair, or taking their toy or pushing them over.

6. It is still important I believe, to allow them to show emotion and fight their own battles without wrapping them in cotton wool, but the essence is to teach tolerance, acceptance & self esteem.

Authors Notes: There is I stress, no scientific research data for me to base the above facts upon, and I am sure the so called professional academic, triple degree professors and research consultants could easily & quite readily dispute & dilute my suggestions. However, the opinions and ideas provided are given using the knowledge that has been nurtured and tried through life experience, observation & consultation with like minded parents. Real people with real children, real children with real issues, real issues in real time.

Thank You,

PRUE WHOO