Several years ago, in a past I like to ponder, I was a single mom. I had packed up my things, lived in a hotel for a few days, slept in my car once or twice and managed, by the Grace of God, to land a well-paying nanny job and a nice one-bedroom apartment in a safe area.

At this time my son was attending a Charter School. I was the only single mother there, as far as I know. My friends were all married, stay-at-home moms with nice vehicles, hubby's who had good jobs and spendy hand-bags. I, on the other hand, was soon living on food stamps, working full time and attending college courses at night and every Saturday.

In other words - I was a fish-out-of-water.

I struggled to swim in this upstream river for about three years. One woman (who shall remain nameless) invited my son and I to come along for a holiday with her family. Although I had very little money, I agreed, wanting my son to have something nice to remember. I put aside about $60, after gas, to spend. The folks who invited us to their fancy-pants pad on a fancy-pants island gave me directions and we drove up in my trusty van (which I still have!). When we got there, it was made clear that we'd need to buy all of our own food. They had no intentions of feeding us.

I tried not to be upset about this, as I didn't mind buying our food. However, I can't ever recall inviting someone to my own home or on a trip without being willing to feed them.

This was sign #1 that the trip was not going to be all that pleasant.

We drove to the store and I purchased generic brands, trying to stretch my money as far as it would go. The other mother purchased all name brand products, telling me that they were not fans of generic foods. This may not seem like a big deal but keep in mind that most name brand foods have Disney characters on them. So I had to explain to my kid, over and over again, for days, that our family DOES eat generic foods, void of Disney characters. Not once did this other gal offer to let my son eat something from their side of the fridge (oh, yes - she separated the foods so that we'd not get them confused).

Her son was given fun toys to play with and my son was told, "We don't have any for you."

We went to dinner and guess who was stuck with the check?

They went outside to have "alone time" numerous times every day, making it clear that they needed to get away from us.

They picked the TV shows to watch and never once asked for our input.

They went to see a movie and did not invite us to go along. She likely assumed I was too poor to go and of course, she wasn't about to show any hospitality here, right? That would be just silly. 

My most distinct memory is the way she treated food. They knew that my son liked a particular food and they made that food every morning. Even when her son was done, and there were left-overs, they got tossed in the bin. Rather than sharing with us, they got tossed in the garbage bin. Can you imagine the message this sent to my child? "You're not even worth giving food to...we'd rather throw it away than give you some."

We finally left a day early, both in tears, feeling dejected and belittled. I sobbed all the way home. A six hour drive, in tears, I arrived home exhausted, angry and disgusted.

My son is now age 12 and to this day, we still joke about the trip. I had really wanted the holiday to give my son happy memories but instead, it helped both of us to value the way WE treat others. We're doing much better now, of course: I'm remarried to a wonderful man, we live in a great house in the woods, I'm on the Library Board and Charity Group, my husband is a Small Business group member, we help our local town and school and we all work hard to treat the downtrodden with love and respect.

If I had my way, we'd open a soup kitchen here for the children who live in poverty, many of whom have single mothers. We would never make single mothers or poor children feel as though they were less than, lousy or loser-like. We all hit hard roads (well, most of us) and knowing that someone has your back is a critical part of having enough hope to pull yourself back up.

I now own two businesses, my husband owns one, we run 9 websites and we love our life. No thanks to those who refused to extend an olive branch, eh? {wink}

It's all good, though, really. Like I say...ALL people can teach us something. Even if they are teaching us how NOT to be.

And we've enjoyed quite a few chuckles of disbelief over this holiday, during the past several years. I wanted my son to have a holiday to remember and by golly - I gave him one.

"Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up." - Jesse Jackson