Recently, a reader asked me: "Can you please write a post about dealing with my two year old? He is just so tough to handle. Some days I feel as though I may LOSE IT. Any info you could offer in help would be great."

My husband and I are currently living out this same scenario. We have three kids: 12, 4 and 2. The older two are mentally pushing but the youngest child is physically exhausting. Jump over to this Sensory article and read about "sensory seekers." That's our two year old: climbing, falling, jumping, dumping, stomping, licking, wrestling, eating non-stop, hates wearing shoes, SCREAMS at the top of his lungs numerous times each day...just for fun, and more. He's absolutely tiring. {He was also born three weeks early at 9 pounds. He's a BIG boy, full of energy and stronger than he realizes!}

There have been days when I've left home, for a drive, just to get away. I need a break. I, myself, don't do well on sensory over-load. I need things to be quiet and calm, the radio to be on low volume, the TV to be on low volume and I don't enjoy loud noises/crowds, etc. For me to have a son who thrives on NOISE is not easy. Now and again I sit and cry, truth be told. "Make it stop! Just make it stop!"

We are attempting to live by the following philosophy, in order to manage our frustration about the noise and mess levels.

I try to remind myself each day:

Remember: this is how our son was born. He's not choosing to be awful.

He doesn't understand that the people around him can't handle his volume. He just think's it's funny.

He is small and defenseless. Hurting him is not an option.

No amount of annoying behavior warrants child abuse.

Cover our ears when he screams. Cry, if we need to, in order to release the anger and sheer frustration.

Keep him occupied with things to touch, manipulate, etc (play-doh, blocks, Lego's, water, dirt and more).

Allow him to blast music once a day, to scratch that itch.

Give him things to climb on, explore, dig with and sweep with.

Don't force him to wear shoes or socks unless we are going for a walk or it's cold outside. 

Don't get angry when he licks us. He thinks it's hilarious. We explain to him that licking people is not okay but we don't get angry about it.

When he kicks us or jumps on top of us, to wrestle, explain to him calmly: "That hurts me. Please stop. Please be gentle with me."

It's very difficult for my husband and I to talk in the car, with our son there. He yells and screams in order to talk above us. We have learned that by putting on a kid's CD, our son will sing along to that (LOUDLY). We agree to talk later, or to finish our chat when he's gotten the screaming out of his system.

When he hurts someone, require that he say sorry (or hug the person, as he isn't talking yet). He fully understands the concept of being sorry and we need to require that he follow through on being apologetic if/when he has hurt a family member or friend. Otherwise, he won't understand that he needs to have boundaries set with his physical behavior.

When he throws a fit in public, we let him finish. We don't attempt to fix it or yell at him. We talk firmly, after he is done, about the fact that his behaviour was unacceptable. Then we go home. Even if that means he misses out on a treat or an event. Actions have consequences and we attempt to show him that, in love.

We monitor his food intake daily. He LOVES to eat. He would eat every ten minutes if we allowed it. He adores sugar and anything spicy. He begs for sugary products all day long. We have set limits for him so that his body, mind and teeth will remain healthy. We are always saying, "You have had enough sugar now. You need some protein." He shakes his head, "NO! Nandy!" (Nandy = candy) We say, "You can't have any more candy or sugar, no. It's not good for you. You need something healthy so you can be strong and healthy, too." Some days he refuses to eat, then. No sugar? Then...no food! By dinner time, however, he's so hungry that he will eat anything we give him (he really likes green beans, beef and chicken). After he eats well we allow him to have some ice cream or a fruit roll-up, etc.

This is all the advice I can offer, truth be told. I don't have a perfect answer or a quick fix. I'm dealing with the same issues and attempting to do my best to love my kid without losing my sanity and patience. I try, daily, to remember that my son is unique and valuable and that we all have flaws; that he was born to explore and has a God given right to feel safe and wanted. It's not easy and I look forward to the years ahead when we've moved past this stage into something less NOISY and exhausting. I look forward to the day that he marries and I hand his wife some ear-plugs as a parting gift.

Maybe I haven't given you the answers you wanted but hopefully you feel a little better knowing...you're not alone. I hope so.

ABOUT the Author:

Shara Lawrence-Weiss is the owner of Mommy Perks, Personal Child Stories, Early Childhood News and Resources and Kids Perks. She and her husband co-own Pine Media. Shara has a background in education, early childhood, nanny work, published freelance, marketing and special needs.