Submitted by Shara Lawrence-Weiss

When Father's Day rolls around each year, many families are focused on the idea of gifts, cards, outings and so on. For another group of people - single moms - Father's Day can be an emotionally rough experience.

Although I spent three plus years as a single mom, my son's father was always present. He wasn't a "deadbeat dad" but all the same, it was tough dropping him off on Father's Day, to see his dad, only to turn around and drive home to spend the day alone.

Here are a few of the things I did in order to make the day less painful:

• Talked to my son about the fact that his father was still around and in his life - a good thing!
• Dropped my son off with a smile on my face: "Have a wonderful day with your dad!"
• We bought (or made) a gift together for his father - it was important to me to instill that respect for his dad
• I called my own father to say hello and wish him a happy Father's Day
• I thought about all of the blessings in my life and meditated on what I hoped I'd have some day...an in-tact (and happy) family unit
• I usually watched The Wedding Singer or another movie that would make me laugh

It wasn't just Father's Day that left me feeling lonely while I was a single mom, of course. Every month and every year was difficult and painful. I found it helpful to seek a Mentor for my son - a trusted male friend who came to play chess, eat lunch, meet us for an outing, etc. Someone stable who could offer some of that father attention while I was struggling to raise my son without a full-time father in the home. I can't tell you how much that helped us. Your Mentor could be someone from church, a grandfather, a neighbor, a friend, etc (I never left my son alone, however - that was my personal choice). 

If you are struggling this year with Father's Day (or any other day), take a moment to read my Message to Single Moms.

Each of us is struggling with something in our lives - whether it's a missing father, an anger-filled home, past abuse we are trying to forget and not repeat with our own children, finances, low self esteem or time management issues. No one is immune to hardships but on the flip side of the coin, hardships can offer the best opportunities for learning - for growing and developing into a stronger, more intelligent, more empathetic person.

Do your best to embrace your painful trials and turn them into triumphs. Many single moms have done just that and you can, too!

ABOUT the Author:

Shara Lawrence-Weiss is the owner of Mommy Perks, Personal Child Stories, Early Childhood News and Resources and Kids Perks. She has a background in education, early childhood, nanny work, published freelance, marketing and special needs.