After becoming a mother at a young age, I lived through the many challenges presented by early motherhood. I don't regret a moment of it for it made me stronger, wiser and assured me: I can get through anything now! I didn't give up or give in - I pushed through. Nothing else in my life has compared to that feeling of empowerment.

I'm now married to my best friend (whom I also deem my soul mate) and we have three children in total. I've wanted to 'give back' to my community and about a year ago I signed up to assist young and single mothers - teaching parenting lessons, answering their questions, helping with budgeting or securing resources and so on.

I recently chatted with one mother about self esteem. We read through a printout together and discussed ways in which parents can build their child up by making statements like, "I saw how hard you tried. I'm proud of your hard work and determination!"

I then asked this mother, "What are simple ways in which you can build up your child now, each day?"

She replied, "My son doesn't understand what I say so I can't say anything right now."

I tipped my head to the side and said, "He may not be talking yet but he can understand everything you say to him. Every word you say to him now is going into his little ears, into his brain and it's spinning around inside his head. He's taking it all in and contemplating the meanings of the things you say. When he begins to talk, what words do you think are going to come out of his mouth?"

She answered, "Whatever he's heard me say."

I replied, "That's exactly right. Whatever he's heard you say is what he'll repeat. So you need to think this through. What are you filling his head with now, before he can talk? Kind words? Hateful words? Encouraging words? Angry words? The words you are using now are the first words he'll speak. My children repeat everything I say - both good and bad. They even repeat funny sayings that I didn't think they'd understand; but somehow, they do."

Simply put: a small child's brain is an empty bucket waiting to be filled. Whatever you fill it with is going to dump out. The good, the bad and the ugly.

I had a friend years ago who cursed like a sailor around her children. By age two her son was speaking. He informed the lady at the Cinnabon counter that he wanted a "F*ck*ng* Cinnabon - NOW! I was there, I heard it and I watched the faces (disgusted) of the people passing by. Needless to say, that child grew up with very few friends, as not many parents allowed their kids to play with him. No parent wanted their kid around a mouth like that.

Long before kids can talk they can hear. Everything they hear is teaching them to speak: from mom, dad, grandparents, the TV, movies, video games, neighbors, kids at the park and more. You won't be able to stop every negative influence in your child's life. However, you can make up your mind to be one of the people pouring positive words into your child's brain bucket. You can counter the negative and ugly stuff with positive, helpful information. Children learn to become positive thinkers by having more positives than negatives to draw from, reflect upon and count on. As they grow older, this becomes the defining factor in low -vs- healthy self esteem development.

So...be the positives going into their brain bucket, right from the start. It matters!

ABOUT the Author:

Shara Lawrence-Weiss is the owner of Mommy Perks, Personal Child Stories, Early Childhood News and Resources and Kids Perks. She and her husband co-own Pine Media. Shara has a background in education, early childhood, nanny work, published freelance, marketing and special needs.